Interracial Relationships.......Social Stigma or a Sign of Progression?

The four contributors to this blog are all the better halves (*wink*) of interracial relationships. Us four all being minorities, makes for a somewhat limited dating pool in this land of the Free. Unless of course, SouthernCanadian and I want to take a rice boat over to Asia Town, we're pretty limited, but I digress. For this post, I'm focusing on MY interracial relationship, and going to give my observations on how it impacts MY life. Everyone's experience is probably different, some better, some worse, but for the most part, different. So since I am a contributor to this blog, here goes nothing.

All my life I've dated Caucasian men, except for my first boyfriend who was Korean, but that's neither here nor there. Everyone since him has been Caucasian. My boyfriend now is Czech and Slovenian. White as a grain of rice. Which makes for an interesting combination with me. We get stared at, well, mostly they stare at me and then glace at him and then go back to me. I'll just assume its because I'm so freakin' gorgeous.

We went out to lunch one day in a really small town and we were getting stared at left and right. You'd swear that these people had never seen an Asian person. It doesn't bother me so much, I'm used to it, but my boyfriend isn't used to it. He kept asking me if he looked funny, and he does, but we won't talk about that! *wink* He's never dated an Asian girl, so this whole thing is new to him. I told him to get used to getting stared at.

At least getting stared at is better than the comments that I've gotten. One guy I was seeing, some lady thought he bought me. And another guy, we wanted to pretend I was his Asian mail order bride at his brother's wedding, but it was too late, his family already knew who I was. I've gotten comments before, like I should date my "own kind" and crap like that and where they are hurtful, I've learned to let them roll off my back. Its the only thing to do. Which brings to me next point:

Are interracial couples a sign of social progression or a social stigma? There are still areas of the US that are very against interracial couples. I've heard of families moving out of neighborhoods to avoid conflict because they were interracial. And where I think we have made leaps and bounds in the acceptance of interracial couples, its still no where where I think it should be. Today in many urban areas, couples don't get so much as a second glance, when I lived in New York City, no one even noticed me, and I still think thats because my office was right next to Chinatown and I just blended in, but I digress (again).

I would like to be able to walk down the street holding my boyfriend's hand and not get one stare. I would like to go to middle of nowhere Ohio and not be judged immediately because my skin is yellow. I would like to not be considered inferior in a relationship because I'm Asian. Another example of how people think, is when we were out to dinner once, the waiter didn't even ask me what I wanted. He just expected my boyfriend to order for both of us. Maybe he thought I didn't speak English because I was a mail order bride or some crap, but it still bothered me.

So where I think we have made great strides in seeing interracial couples as "normal" couples, we still have a long way to go. Its not so much a stigma anymore, but I don't think we've made the progression to full acceptance. I still believe that many people need to understand that disease, hurt, pain, happiness, joy, and especially love know no racial lines.